Why People Donate to Disaster Victims

Super typhoon Yolanda wreaked havoc as she rampaged through the Philippines. The violent pouring of rain, the furious blasting of wind, and the torrential surging of flood waters pitifully soaked Tacloban and its surrounding areas into a lamentable state of calamity.


When disasters of this magnitude happen, those who are directly unaffected by the disaster often display an overwhelming desire to help the victims. They may not necessarily go to the calamity area, but one way they offer help is through the donation of cash and kind.


The word “donation” refers to the generous gesture of sharing to the needy. Donating time and effort, cash or kind to disaster victims is a charitable act. However, those who donate differ in their underlying motivations and reasons for doing so. 

What factors might influence people to donate to disaster victims?

• Compassion. Many people donate out of true compassion. They empathize with the harrowing experience of the disaster victims and sincerely want to help them in their sufferings. These compassionate people feel the fear, grief, shock, and sense of vulnerability which disaster victims go through. Compassionate people know that another person's ordeal could have been their own so they are willing to go an extra mile in comforting those in need.  

• Regional affiliation. Some people donate only due to regional affiliation or connection. For instance, a person from Tacloban who resides in Manila would obviously be concerned about the safety of his relatives and townsfolk in Tacloban. Had the calamity happened elsewhere, he might have cared less or not at all. 

• Sense of accomplishment. Some people belong to socio-civic or advocacy groups and actually enjoy doing noble projects that uplift the lot of the people. For them, it is a joy to donate their time, money, and efforts for the benefit of the less fortunate. 

• Guilt feelings. Some people donate out of guilt feelings. They feel a sense of shame as they bask in the comfort and luxury of their own homes while some countrymen of theirs are homeless, hungry, and drenched in the rain. Hence, to appease themselves of their emotional discomfort, they give donations to the victims.

•  Sense of obligation. Some people donate simply because they’re expected to do so by their school, church, organization, or society. 

• Image enhancement. Some people donate to earn so-called “pogi” points and gain press mileage. Actors, actresses, and politicians are notoriously known for this. They are deemed dubious and self-serving because they display their charitable acts for all to see.

• Excess wealth. Some people donate from their excess wealth. They simply have too much luxury and the little bit that they give to the disaster victims is really inconsequential to them.

When we Filipinos act from a true spirit of compassion, it is not merely time and effort, cash or material kind that we donate. When we are truly compassionate, whatever we give to others is a sharing not only from ourselves, but also from deep within us.


Giving donations and doing charitable acts for disaster victims prove that our core values of bayanihan and damayan are still alive and not yet out-moded. We need to show the disaster victims that our pagkakaisa is not limited just to backing up our beauty contestants in international pageants or cheering for our boxers who compete in title fights.  In sharing to the disaster victims what we can give, we help to keep their hopes and spirit alive as we journey with them through thick and thin.

Pinoy Men Raped by Women

We all know that males can rape other males. Stories abound, for instance, of male inmates geting anally raped by co-prisoners. Every now and then, we also read tabloid news about straight guys getting sexually molested by unscrupulous gay men. And ever since the influx of Pinoy OFWs to countries in the Middle East, we’ve heard countless tales of male Middle Easterners using Pinoy men as a favorite outlet for their sexual urges.

But how about men getting raped by women? Can such incidents actually happen? I never gave these questions a thought until some male clients consulted me for psychotherapy after having suffered such an ordeal.



Jerome (not his real name) was one of those guys. Being a Dean’s Lister and varsity player in an elite school, this teen heartthrob always had girls madly swooning over him. At a party one night, he was given a drug-laced drink that made him black out. When he regained consciousness, he shockingly realized that he was tied to the bedposts with an unknown young lady straddling atop his naked body. He knew that he had an erection at that time but didn’t want to have one. Still woozy from the drink, he felt utterly weak and helpless and didn’t even have the strength to tell the lady to stop whatever she was doing. He again lost consciousness and when he woke up in the early morning, he was alone, untied, and still naked under a bed sheet. He rushed home feeling extremely angry, humiliated, violated, and puzzled about what had happened. Keeping the shameful experience to himself, this young man sank into a deep depression, lost all zest for living, and became suicidal.

Female-to-male rape happens in a situation wherein the male is rendered weak, unconscious, or unable to resist the sexual victimization. The easiest way for this to happen is for the woman to get the guy dead drunk, intoxicated with some mind-altering substance, or knocked-out by a tranquilizer. Another common way is for the woman to use emotional blackmail in coercing the man to have sexual intercourse with her. Emotional blackmail can take the form of suicidal threats, threats to divulge the guy’s secrets, or threats to ruin his reputation, career, or existing relationships. A third way is to physically threaten the guy at gun- or knife-point. And lastly, especially for Amazonian women trained in martial arts, they could simply use brute strength to subdue the guy and tie him up.



Many people do not believe that female-to-male rape can happen. The main reason for this disbelief is that guys are generally the stronger sex and should therefore be capable of warding off unwanted advances by women. Secondly, guys are stereotyped to be sex machines that crave for sex all the time and should even welcome the "lucky" opportunity to be raped by a woman.  Thirdly, if an erection and/or ejaculation occurred during the rape, people quickly jump to the conclusion that the guy must have consented and enjoyed the sexual act. 

The truth is that erections and ejaculations can occur outside of sexual pleasure. Medically, it can happen during sleep, in epileptic attacks, or from asphyxiation due to suicidal hanging. Even males who are quadriplegic can have them. And for some guys, their genitals are just so extremely sensitive that even the slightest non-sexual touch would immediately get them rock-hard. The bottom line is that erections and ejaculations are not evidence that raped guys consent to having sex.



So why do women rape? Some are nymphomaniacs a.k.a. female sex addicts who want sex by whatever means. Some female rapists harbor anger towards guys and retaliate by raping them. Some want to get pregnant by a guy whom they like but who wouldn’t want to have sex with them. And finally, some are sexual sadists who take their dominatrix roles too an extreme by emasculating innocent men through forced sex.

As for the effects of rape, male survivors commonly develop low self-esteem, relationship problems, major depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, erectile dysfunction, psychosomatic illnesses, or addiction. Some men become hypersexual and engage in promiscuous sex with women as a subconscious attempt to prove that they are not gay or male weaklings.



Sex is an intimate act of love between two consenting adults. Rape however is a horrific experience because it is the forceful infliction of an act which is supposed to be beautiful, enjoyable, and intimate. 

If you are a male survivor of female-to-male rape or of any type of sexual molestation for that matter, you don’t need to suffer in silence. Through intensive and compassionate psychotherapy, you can get the help you need to regain your lost sense of masculinity and dignity.

The Near-Death Experience: True-to-Life Resurrection of the Dead

Ironic, isn't it?  Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die.  

Some people though have had the actual experience of being deemed clinically dead or close to dying, and then going to heaven (or hell), and coming back to life to tell about it!  This is what we call a near-death experience, a resurrection, or the Lazarus syndrome. 

Resurrection from the dead is a spiritual concept  whereby the dead return to life.  

Medically, resurrection is known as the Lazarus Syndrome, based on the biblical character Lazarus whom Jesus raised from the dead.  In the Lazarus Syndrome, people who have been pronounced clinically dead after failed attempts at cardio-pulmonary resuscitation (CPR) spontaneously come back to life.  

The phenomenon is more popularly called a near-death experience.  

The near-death experience is described as a physical, psychological, and spiritual event.  Although no two experiences are alike, the near-death experience generally proceeds through the following phases:

1. Clinical death, or being at the throes of death.
2. Separation of the person’s soul from the body.  The soul may become aware that it is hovering over its physical body.
3. Entering the Darkness and moving through a dark tunnel.
4. Seeing the Light and entering it
5. Being in an otherwordly spiritual realm of existence, either in a heavenly or hellish dimension
6. Returning to the physical body on earth
7. Being revived to life. 

While clinically dead and in heaven, people commonly experienced being in a state of profound peace, intense joy, and deep unconditional love. Some people met their loved ones who had passed away ahead of them.  Another common experience was being in the presence of “beings of light.”  These spiritual beings were usually recognized to be spiritual figures from the person's religious belief system.

People who had a near-death experience commonly underwent a “life review.” The life review consisted of a stream of consciousness about the life that they had just lived.  As their life flashed before them, they experienced for themselves all the good and bad feelings which they had made the people in their lifetime feel.  Together with the beings of light, they assessed whether the purposes of their recent life had been successfully attained. 

Those who have returned from a near-death experience describe it as a spiritually powerful, deeply life-changing experience.  They never became the same again.  They stopped fearing death.  Their life became more meaningful and purposeful.  They became more spiritually-minded and compassionate towards others.  Some developed natural psychic and healing abilities. 

Unfortunately, not all near-death experiences were reported to be positive events.  Some people had hell-like experiences consisting of tormenting images and agonizing feelings of despair, terror, and guilt.  These traumatic feelings were unforgettable and haunted the person throughout his "second chance" at life. 

Medical researchers think that the near-death experience is caused by oxygen deprivation, abnormal electrical surges in the brain, REM brain waves, and a release of “feel-good” or “feel-bad” chemicals in the dying brain.    

Scientific research on near-death experiences reveal the following findings:

• Near-death experiences were clearly not hallucinations.
• Blind people who underwent a near-death experience had a normal sense of sight during their stay in the spiritual realm. 
• Majority of non-religious people, agnostics, atheists, and even those who attempted suicide reported having “heavenly” experiences rather than “hellish” ones.
• Many atheists who survived a near-death experience started believing in the existence of a Higher Power.
• Those who were mentally or emotionally distressed on their deathbed seemed to be at greater risk of experiencing hell. 

So what do near-death experiences teach us?  They remind us of the following:

• that there is an afterlife,
• that there is a Higher Power,
• that ultimately, we are spiritual beings,
• that the reason for our life on earth is to cultivate spiritual virtues and nurture our spiritual nature, and  
• that the people who we think will go to hell might surprisingly end up in heaven (or vice versa). 

No, we don’t need to wait for a near-death experience to transform our lives.  Now is the time for us to take stock of our lives from a spiritual perspective.  After all, as pilgrims on this earth, life is fleeting and we’re just passing by.